This is a very common and critical mistake. Understandably advisors are focused on “solving problems” for clients they serve … and the problems are certainly financial in nature. But, if you focus on the financial too much or too early, prospects are likely to sense that you are more interested in making a sale than on serving them. As advisors, it’s important to understand that we must “earn the right” to obtain full and accurate financial information, which requires that we first develop the trust and engagement necessary for them to be comfortable in providing those details.

The order of the discovery conversation is strategically important.  Expanding on the first mistake above, what we see is that advisors assume that understanding the financials gives them a clear and complete understanding of situation. Despite calling it “private” wealth management, advisors tend to immediately ask for detailed financial information from a prospect like investable assets, account structure, tax situation and other detailed financial facts that many would consider to be on a need-to-know basis only.  Again, it’s important that you first earn the right to ask for that information, which is accomplished by establishing the rationale that motivates the prospect to WANT to provide that information. The best way to do so is to put the financial discovery at the end and focus primarily on gaining a clear, full understanding of what the prospect is seeking to accomplish with their wealth. He or she is then more likely to recognize that first and foremost you are truly interested in them and their unique situation. Second, you will have established the rationale in the prospect’s mind for why they need to provide that information as it is required to begin analyzing if they can actually achieve their stated priorities.

Obviously you must understand a client’s goals before you can help address their needs. But goals and objectives simply don’t provide enough insight and context in the reality of wealth management. What you should focus on is priorities. Priorities are defined in the dictionary as “forced choices, in rank order of importance.” Until you know the ranked order of their goals, which are most important – and why – you will be unable to help the client identify the important decisions, trade-offs, and choices they need to make to achieve financial success. And understand that what we call the “Priorities Conversation” is in fact that - a conversation.  It’s more than a simple question or two.  Those advisors who are skilled at helping clients identify and articulate their priorities are the ones that make significant connections and have the most success. Which brings us to another point

If you really want to know and understand your prospects and clients, there are things to explore beyond just priorities. Values and family dynamics are vitally important elements of discovery that advisors often miss - or maybe even avoid. But think about this. When we’re making significant decisions and choices in our lives, it’s our values that lead us to a conclusion. For example, if there are limited funds, how does a family make the choice between the children’s education and retirement?  One family might choose education, while another might prioritize their personal retirement.  The choice here is predicated on what their life experiences have been and how those experiences have shaped their value systems. Given their importance in decision making, you should explore the values behind the prospect’s priorities to gain a true understanding of the prospect and thereby provide more meaningful guidance.

All too often once advisors hear the prospect’s first 2-3 stated goals, they immediately transition into “solution mode.” It’s great to want to solve problems, but just because you hear that they are accumulating wealth for retirement and want to provide for their children’s education doesn’t mean you have a full understanding of the situation. In reality, those are somewhat universal goals for everyone in the mass affluent to HNW market segments. So it’s important to be patient in the discovery conversation and take the conversation deeper before arcing to solutions that may have missed what they most need to maximize their situation.

This is a big mistake. In many instances, one spouse – usually the one that you meet with initially – might have more oversight and control over the finances. The mistake is not getting the other spouse involved in the discussion early to understand their perspectives - which might be different from what you learned from the first spouse. Two of the many issues that arise from this are (1) you fail to clearly understand the full family perspective (which at some point may very well create an issue in your relationship), and (2) even though the spouse you are talking to is likely the decision maker, the other spouse can influence the decision on the advisor they choose to work with. (I can’t tell you how many times we’ve seen an advisor acquire a new client that they otherwise may not have gotten by engaging the other spouse.)